The Talking Wall

Attention! I am MOVING THIS BLOG!!!

2009-11-20T12:09:00.001-05:00

This blog will shortly be moving to the address http://offthewoll.blogspot.com/.

Q. Why are you moving the blog?

Great question, I'm glad I thought of it. There are two reasons. First, offthewoll is a lot cooler as far as names go and I need to redo the look of this blog, it's about 8-9 years or so in the past. Next, wolltalk was created to be a blog with complete ideas. I can't complete ideas anymore and I need to be able to post the incomplete ideas in a place where it would be recognized that the posts are more flawed and not full thoughts. In the event I can actually complete an idea, the idea will be posted on wolltalk in addition to the new blog. Thus, it is smartest to just check the new one. If you are reading this on Facebook via their blog import feature, it should be switching over to offthewoll as soon as I get the new site up with some opening blog posts that I couldn't finish.

Q. Any other questions?

Nope, I think I'm good, but other people can just write comments and stuff.

Clarification: This blog is not being deleted. I am simply moving to a new blog.

Mistakes - Part II

2009-02-13T02:35:00.003-05:00

An afterthought from the last post: The thing about mistakes it that we often don't quite recognize what our mistakes are. The things we think were mistakes can end up being quite the opposite of that and the decisions we believe are good we may come to regret.

Mistakes

2009-01-27T04:27:00.009-05:00

Note: This piece was posted two weeks after it was written and, due to the time gap, just posted in its incomplete form. Corrections or add-ins may later follow. Also, due to the lack of me going over this carefully some things may make absolutely no logical sense, in which case you can let me know.

I read an interesting piece in my psychology textbook today that mentioned a study in which participants were left in a room with puzzles of varying difficulty. When this study was done on Americans, they generally chose to work on the puzzles that were easier to solve. When the same study was done on Chinese people, they tended to choose the puzzles of greater difficulty. The study found that Americans tended to choose the easier puzzles out of a fear of failing, whereas Chinese people chose the more difficult puzzles, viewing a challenge as a learning opportunity. The textbook added that we could benefit from viewing challenges in this way.

However, I find this issue most pertinent in regard to the most common form of failure: the mistake. Culturally, we tend to associate a mistake with having done something wrong and I'd like to insist that this view is not only unhealthy, but is a skewed way of defining our morality. I'd like to make the case that a mistake is not a wrongdoing or transgression, but rather, like most other concepts, is value-neutral, its right or wrong value determined by the individual. I'd like argue that a mistake is an opportunity to learn a lesson. If we learn that lesson, then the mistake was an important and valuable life experience and if we don't, then, and only then, can we view the mistake as a failure. Not a failure in the mistake itself, but a failure in the ability to learn from it.

One of the most popular yearbook quotes in the United States is the famous line by Wayne Gretzky, "You miss 100% of the shots you never take." Often the biggest mistake one can make is not making one. I recently saw a trailer for a movie called Yes Man. The plot of the movie is that a man who generally responds with a 'no' toward life opportunities commits to always responding with a 'yes' and his life is improved as a result. The point the movie is trying to make is that, while obviously we shouldn't answer every question with a yes, far too often we respond with a no. We are afraid to take risks and venture out into the unknown because we are afraid of making a mistake.

Sometimes the best thing we can do is make a mistake. Sometimes we will make a mistake that teaches us things we could never have learned otherwise, making it a mistake that we would never ever take back because what it taught us is priceless. Sometimes we make a mistake that alters our life forever and alters it for the positive. If you go through life and you don't make any significant mistakes you can't call what you did living. If you think life is like some novel where everything works out and everyone is perfect then you don't understand what life is. Mistakes aren't just a "part of life," something which you have to live through, mistakes are life itself. A mistake indicates that someone did something, who cares if they succeeded, they put themselves on the line for the sake of something worthwhile.

If I look back on what of life I've lived there isn't all that much I regret doing. But there is noteworthy list of things I regret not doing; things I should have done but didn't, times where I could have acted but stood by passively and could've, and in fact should've done something. Don't stand by and be safe. Act. Take a risk. Go outside your comfort zone and do the thing you're too afraid, shy, or embarrassed to. And don't be too embarrassed to admit that you've made real mistakes to someone, that's the whole point I'm trying to make. There's nothing wrong at all with making mistakes. We're supposed to go through life making mistakes, it's the primary way we learn anything.

This blog post has spanned more days to write than any other post and it's not just because my laptop ran out of power at the beginning of the third paragraph. This is a post coming from more experience than I could ever want at my age and lessons that took me too long to learn. Making a mistake and admitting it to someone else is so embarrassing for us because we have to admit we're not perfect. And the problem really is that our vision of perfect is so skewed. A perfect person isn't someone who is a super-everything who never errs or trips up with anything. A real perfect person makes mistakes and does his or her best to learn from them, and it can be a slow process.

Creativity

2008-12-17T02:23:00.006-05:00

Creativity: How does it work?

Let's hear your responses.
Come from any angle you want - biological, sociological, religious, etc. A blog post on the topic might follow. Your responses can be anonymous. And yes, it isn't too late to post.

5 million for shabbos?

2008-11-20T01:46:00.014-05:00

I usually veer away from that reflective meaningful type stuff that some other bloggers like to post about but I'll make an exception today.

In my composition class yesterday we did an impromptu exercise in which we grouped together in pairs and one person in each pair was named the "pen holder". The pen holder's job, besides holding the pen, was to not let the other person convince him to give it to him. The pen holder was supposed to pretend that this pen was his most cherished object and not want to give it to the other person.

I was the pen holder in my pair. The dialogue going back and forth was a bit ridiculous. I claimed that my great-grandfather gave me the pen and made me swear to him not to lend it away. My partner countered with arguments such as, "If your great-grandfather made you swear to jump off a bridge would you do that too?" and "You shouldn't listen to your great-grandfather he was douche-bag in not allowing you to lend it out." We went back and forth with ridiculous arguments, attempted guilt trips, and death threats. Finally, he told me that he needed the pen to go sign a paper at the bank to receive 15 million dollars and told me if I lent him the pen he would give me 5 million. I agreed and handed over the pen.

After handing over the pen, I wondered why I agreed to be bribed. I recognized clearly that it was because I knew I was lying to myself the whole time about the significance of the pen and, therefore, when offered - even though pretend - 5 million dollars, I readily gave it up. I think there is a lesson to be learned here which is one I don't think we often think about. There are a lot of beliefs and values in our life that we say are important, but we should wonder when pressed, when we would have something to gain by giving them up, if we would. I think a big part of what will happen is how much we really believe in what we say we believe in. We may, for example, say that learning Torah is really important to us, but is it really? Are we maybe just echoing what we've heard, sort of hoping that we may come to actually value it like we say we do, but honestly not fully believing it's that important? That may seem fine now and I may be able to tell myself that's what I believe, but will I still be displaying that's what I believe in when I stand to gain something, say 5 million dollars? I think many religious Jews, if offered to gain 5 million dollars by violating shabbos for a month, would turn the offer down. But I don't know if that would necessarily be because of how they feel about the holiness of shabbos. I think it would have to do with needs for social acceptance and because we feel it would be wrong because that's what we were taught. But when we really want the 5 million dollars, we will eventually start to ask ourselves why we go through all the bother to keep shabbos; suddenly, those other reasons we used to keep shabbos don't do the trick. Ultimately, the problem was that although the person claimed that shabbos was important to them, and even acted in a way that demonstrated this, they didn't really believe what they claimed and that's why they were able to think the way they did.

Think about this. Open up a word document and write why Torah learning is important to you, why shabbos is important to you. Do you really really believe what you're writing down? Think about it.

We can't be afraid or embarrassed to ask the basic questions, the fundamental questions we're supposed to have moved past and know the answers to. We have to and we need to. The reasons for doing mitzvos when we were five will not work when knowing why we are doing them starts to matter to us because they've become a burden or they've simply been more of a struggle. But we're embarrassed to ask these questions because we're afraid of appearing not as frum as we want others to think of us. But we also have to be honest with ourselves and realize that the truth, truth itself as a value, is important to us and that if we want to fulfil our lofty, but accomplishable, goal of becoming men and women of truth, maybe we can find a way to sacrifice our ego for the greater good. If we don't then we are just liars, living a life of lying, and its end is not comforting or peaceful. If you want answers to these questions, the questions you may have or that I have raised about why some things are important, you should ask them; many more people have these questions too and would even benefit from you sharing them out loud, however you choose, so those who will not ask the questions will be able to get the answers anyway, because many people are looking for them. Please, think about it.

Comments are welcome.

Living in the Moment

2008-11-06T21:32:00.003-05:00

How to Live in the Moment
from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

Living in the moment is all about living like there's no tomorrow. It takes practice but in the end, you'll lead a fuller life. To do this you must realize beauty in every moment, and in everyday activities. This is your life, now live!

Steps

Take notice of the world around you. No matter what you're doing, try to find something beautiful around you. Maybe on your way to work or school, you go over a beautiful bridge, or you get a view of the sunrise behind the city buildings. Realizing these small things can bring life and happiness even to the most boring or routine days. Be thankful for those little things.
Focus on whatever you're doing. Even if you're just walking, or wiping the counter, or shuffling cards - how does it feel? There's probably some kind of commentary spinning through your mind, and it probably has to do with something other than what you're doing. Let those thoughts go and focus on what is (not what was, or what could be). In Buddhism, this is referred to as mindfulness. Pay attention to your senses - touch, sight, smell, sound, and taste. Pretend it's the very last time you'll ever experience whatever you're experiencing. Have you ever been so engrossed in something that it seemed like the rest of the world just disappeared? Living in the moment is about creating that state of mind at any time. Slow down, and try to savor the present.
Smile when you wake up. You can set the tone of appreciation and awareness for the next 24 hours by simply waking up and smiling.[1] Don't wake up with a groan and a smash of your alarm clock. There's scientific proof that the expressions that you make with your face can actually influence how you feel.[2] In particular, true happiness is most closely tied to a Duchenne smile which involves smiling with your eyes, as well as your mouth.[3]
Commit random, spontaneous acts of kindness. Whether it's donating 1 dollar to a fund at the pharmacy, picking up litter, or helping victims of natural disasters, keep alert in every moment of your day for some way in which you can make the world a better place. Even the smallest thing, like complimenting someone, can bring joy. It's the most spontaneous and unexpected acts of kindness that produce the greatest impact, and you can't be sensitive to those kinds of opportunities unless you're living in the moment.
Minimize activities that dull your awareness of the moment. What are you doing that tempts your mind to run away from the present? For most people, watching television puts you in a passive state of mind, and time slips right by. Daydreaming and getting lost in a good movie or book isn't bad, but it's not living in the moment because it places your concentration on something that isn't right here, right now; it's a form of escapism. Don't zone out; zone in. Do things that are active, and that encourage you to look around and engage the world in that moment. Gardening, playing a game, knitting, and playing an instrument are all activities that lend themselves to mindfulness. So get off the computer after reading this article!

Tips

Play with kids! Children don't worry about the future; they play and enjoy every moment for what it is. They haven't yet learned to think ahead, or mull over the past, so take the opportunity to learn from them.
Forgive. Many of us carry grudges with us that haunt us, and those grudges also prevent us from opening our hearts to others because we're scared of getting hurt again.
Watch your breath, by noticing your breathing pattern your mind naturally quiets and pays more attention to the present moment.

Warnings

Living in the moment doesn't mean you shouldn't care about the future, or do reckless, irresponsible things. It means that when you make a choice to do something, you focus on actually doing it, rather than letting your mind dwell on the future (or past).
Do not let living in the moment be offensive, rude, uncaring, intrusive, or inconsiderate of others while focusing on living for yourself

Sources and Citations

↑ "Present Moment Wonderful Moment" by Thich Nhat Hanh. ISBN 093807721X

↑ http://www.springerlink.com/content/y9575l5511111457/

↑ http://cat.inist.fr/?aModele=afficheN&cpsidt=16900751

Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world's largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Live in the Moment. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

2008-10-10T11:40:00.000-04:00

Decided to join the fun,
Good Shabbos to all.

Xkcd Gets It Right

2008-10-02T23:25:00.005-04:00

image from http://xkcd.com/483/ - Creative Commons license

Take that, Lord of The Rings.

Fun with Stickys

2008-09-11T21:17:00.003-04:00

From the guys who pushed the limits on Mentos and Diet Coke. You will never look at a Post-It note the same way again.

Eepybird's Sticky Note Experiment from Eepybird on Vimeo.

Help Wanted

2008-08-19T03:00:00.001-04:00

I know the blog is called Wolltalk, but blogging is more fun with friends. Therefore, if I know you and you have some interest in writing your own posts (or even if you don't), let me know and I'll give you an account on the blog so you can post whenever you want about whatever.

Blog Reviews - July 2008

2008-07-28T23:24:00.004-04:00

I discovered quite an interesting blog today. It may not be as mind-blowing entertaining as this one, but one might say that it is "holier". The blog is called Shiras HaLev and includes captivating Torah thoughts coupled with an insightful commentary on Rav Noach Weinberg's 48 Ways to Wisdom series. However, the blog is very girly which you may be just what you're looking for or it just may not be your thing if, for instance, you are not a girl. To quote that guy from Reading Rainbow, "Don't take my word for it, read it yourself."

Another blog worthy of mention is TeenTechBlog. It's not so much that there aren't enough blogs on technology as it is that there aren't many written by teenagers that have made it past 4 posts (way way past) and actually know what they're talking about. Once again, read it yourself.

Shiras HaLev - http://halev.wordpress.com
TeenTechBlog - http://www.teentechblog.com

Book Reviews - June 2008

2008-06-25T16:30:00.001-04:00

I have finally gotten around to reading two classic books this month, The
Da Vinci Code and the the first few books of The Hitchhikers Guide to the
Galaxy. The Da Vinci Code, I'm sorry to say, was a sad disappointment. It
certainly did not make for a clever mystery and the characters were
relatively boring with one exception who ends up..well I'll stop here so
as not to spoil it for those who have not read it yet. Hitchhiker's
Guide to the Galaxy, now there's a great book. Hilarious, ridiculous, and
pure genius. So the moral of the story is that if you ever have to choose
between reading the Da Vinci Code and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
choose the latter and if you need to burn a book for firewood then choose
the former. I'll end with my favorite part of Hitchhiker's Guide to the
Galaxy.

"Now," said Benjy mouse, "to business."
Ford and Zaphod clinked their glasses together.
"To business!" they said.
"I beg your pardon?" said Benjy.
Ford looked round.
"Sorry, I thought you were proposing a toast," he said.

Journeys

2008-06-23T02:31:00.002-04:00

I would like to take this opportunity to thank Journeys I & IV for all their help this year and for never getting old. And for the record, Journeys totally rocks Journey and don't start believin' otherwise.

Reminder: Before shabbos, remember to throw away your hammer.

FYI - It's a real acronym

2008-06-12T11:36:00.002-04:00

Let me be perfectly clear on one point: I am writing this blog to
entertain me not to entertain you. Nevertheless I will try
to keep anyone actually reading this entertained as well.

If someone wants to entertain others and appear to be funny there are a
number of ways to do it. Perhaps one of the most common forms used by
those who do this in comedy clubs is that of the rant, where the performer
will go on ranting and ranting about some sort of trivial annoyance of
some sort which people find funny because.. apparently it is funny when
people complain about things. Y'know someone will go like: "You know 5
words I can't stand more than anything else? 'What does NCSY stand for?'
The next time someone asks me that question I'm going to throw them down a
well. It always goes the same way, I'll mention NCSY to someone who's
never heard of it and of course, innocently, they ask, 'What does NCSY stand
for?' I mean, I can't blame them. How were they to realize the horrible
question they were asking? Mentally swearing to myself that I am
never going to answer this question again (or leave the asker to
tell the tale) I consider my 3 options. The first is to go something like,
'Well it used to be the National Conference of Synagogue Youth
but..' and then launch into a whole boring explanation of how things came
to be how they are but the asker is never that interested to actually hear
the explanation and if I ever have to say again I am going to
scream. The next option is to simply say, 'Nothing.' Which is followed by
a confused look and a request for an explanation that leads to me having
to give the previous answer. Or, there always the third answer, 'It stands
iNspiring Cthe JewiSh fYuture. The c is silent and they spell future
with a Y for some reason, don't ask.' Please don't ask. They
usually don't. And the next one who does.. ______________ (insert your
favorite empty threat here)." So that's kind of what a rant might look
like.

(If you have any other responses for avoiding this horrible question or
would like to rant about my rant feel free to put it in the
comments.)